Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
