Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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