She's never allowed to turn 21 again
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
