Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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