He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
