Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize