They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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