just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
