You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
should my penis look like a turkey
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
