I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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