my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
