The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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