dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
