you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
