sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
