Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
