Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I have tasted many bathrooms
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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