omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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