Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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