Christians are straight up FREAKS
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Randomize