wat bout pragnant strippers??
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
