My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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