Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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