Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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