I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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