Texts From Last Night

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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?

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  (515): Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out? http://tfl.nu/ragd
  Replies (48) Good night (1060) Bad night (2118)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.

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  (205): So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God. http://tfl.nu/2tiv
  Replies (50) Good night (4486) Bad night (770)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  your address is 607B right?

  (785): View more from Kansas

  yeah why?

  (913): View more from Kansas

  i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it

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  (913): your address is 607B right? (785): yeah why? (913): i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it http://tfl.nu/019d
  Replies (11) Good night (1285) Bad night (4162)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I just woke up to me licking the dognuts

  (623): View more from Arizona

  You mean Doughnuts?

  (602): View more from Arizona

  ......No :(

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  (602): I just woke up to me licking the dognuts (623): You mean Doughnuts? (602): ......No :( http://tfl.nu/8azm
  Replies (50) Good night (1494) Bad night (17622)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too

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  (703): well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too http://tfl.nu/1ldg
  Replies (18) Good night (6840) Bad night (989)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.

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  (540): It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic. http://tfl.nu/37md
  Replies (5) Good night (1062) Bad night (2806)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.

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  (270): My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted. http://tfl.nu/nzx6
  Replies (15) Good night (5098) Bad night (1168)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning

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  (775): It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning http://tfl.nu/pt0t
  Replies (4) Good night (2470) Bad night (933)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.

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  (504): I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex. http://tfl.nu/xk62
  Replies (7) Good night (1775) Bad night (624)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours

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  (610): You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours http://tfl.nu/b1w1
  Replies (5) Good night (2872) Bad night (927)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"

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  (248): The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations" http://tfl.nu/0f04
  Replies (4) Good night (2061) Bad night (638)
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  (310): View more from California

  Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself

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  (310): Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself http://tfl.nu/zndp
  Replies (5) Good night (1407) Bad night (624)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.

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  (406): We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right. http://tfl.nu/ritk
  Replies (5) Good night (2090) Bad night (420)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.

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  (612): I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers. http://tfl.nu/s9wi
  Replies (2) Good night (389) Bad night (465)
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  (661): View more from California

  I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.

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  (661): I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends. http://tfl.nu/bkgn
  Replies (1) Good night (673) Bad night (190)

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