we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
we made out on top of his cat.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.