We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
The pigeons can smell the fear
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?