So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.