he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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