so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
