i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
