Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
He kissed a someone with a penis
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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