grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
