i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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