But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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