Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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