I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Just pee around me
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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