My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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