The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
