If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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