i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
