He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
