I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
