I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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