its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
