I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Randomize
