Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
