I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
