My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
