somebody snuck up and got me drunk
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
