$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
