I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
