I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Randomize
