I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
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No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
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Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize