YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
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