Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with

(217): View more from Illinois

well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment

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(610): thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with (217): well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment http://tfl.nu/vbkf

Replies (23) Good night (1648) Bad night (2578)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option

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(403): i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option http://tfl.nu/a69i

Replies (11) Good night (773) Bad night (4810)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.

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(908): Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim. http://tfl.nu/snt6

Replies (21) Good night (1264) Bad night (4036)
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(205): View more from Alabama

im getting a BJ in a closet

(205): View more from Alabama

and a penguin just handed me a bong

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(205): im getting a BJ in a closet (205): and a penguin just handed me a bong http://tfl.nu/oarm

Replies (60) Good night (12573) Bad night (1024)
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(519): View more from Ontario

Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.

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(519): Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn. http://tfl.nu/jg1z

Replies (7) Good night (1248) Bad night (2766)
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(458): View more from Oregon

Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.

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(458): Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh. http://tfl.nu/m88d

Replies (22) Good night (6180) Bad night (1807)
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(817): View more from Texas

I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.

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(817): I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy. http://tfl.nu/amvl

Replies (13) Good night (991) Bad night (4179)
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(360): View more from Washington

I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"

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(360): I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!" http://tfl.nu/wn2w

Replies (9) Good night (1787) Bad night (844)
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(631): View more from New York

Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.

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(631): Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl. http://tfl.nu/065k

Replies (13) Good night (1718) Bad night (2942)
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(613): View more from Ontario

How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.

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(613): How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me. http://tfl.nu/pw4l

Replies (8) Good night (1823) Bad night (666)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.

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(202): I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing. http://tfl.nu/xvl1

Replies (24) Good night (719) Bad night (4377)
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(818): View more from California

Hahah what did you even say to him?!

(805): View more from California

That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?

(818): View more from California

Oh.

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(818): Hahah what did you even say to him?! (805): That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower? (818): Oh. http://tfl.nu/lvu0

Replies (3) Good night (1098) Bad night (616)
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(253): View more from Washington

I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise

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(253): I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise http://tfl.nu/l8ok

Replies (4) Good night (753) Bad night (453)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."

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(401): Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel." http://tfl.nu/en31

Replies (0) Good night (921) Bad night (274)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.

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(304): You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good. http://tfl.nu/keuc

Replies (2) Good night (599) Bad night (276)

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