I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
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I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun