Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
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