So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
