You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
